My Friend’s Advice for Meeting New People Also Helps Me Stay Connected to Myself

Photo by Kelly Dawson

A few years ago, I was on the phone with an emotionally close but physically faraway pal when he said something wise that stuck with me: “So, you’re looking to make new friends,” he pondered, knowing just as well as I did that it’s tough to make these types of connections as adults. “Well, what did you love doing as a kid? Just do that again, and introduce yourself to people around you.”

After a few weeks had gone by, I told him what happened. “I enrolled in a ceramics class, and I think I met someone cool.” I’ve held on to this advice since, and it comes in handy in more ways than just meeting promising strangers. I like to think of it on a ho-hum Wednesday night, when all I have planned after work is watching TV, so that I can remember to call a friend or start an art project. I’m reminded of it on wide-open Sundays, when the afternoon feels too promising to waste on brunch and a nap, and can be better spent at a park instead. This can make traveling to new cities feel more exciting, too, because as a kid there’s only so much fun you can have with parental supervision. Dessert for dinner is a definite option when you’re the one footing the bill, as is staying up way past bedtime. 

His advice is also a pick-me-up whenever days become too stressful or predictable. Maybe that means I’ll take a few hours away from my computer to go to the beach, a major perk of being self-employed, or spend some time pursuing the latest must-reads of a bookstore. Recently, it was as simple as watching a beloved movie I can essentially recite. As simple as it seems, being reminded of what made your younger self smile can magically do the same thing for you as an adult. 

What did you love doing as a kid? Let me know in the comments!